Aliiive! hehe

I am feeling things out. My word-mind works at a slower rate. I've slipped into a quiet mood -- outwardly quiet. It feels like fall, that sort of progression that makes sense, that is natural and moves simultaneously slowly and quickly. My mind moves fast and slow. It swells like water, sometimes crashes like waves. But no, not in a moody sort of way.

Words in my mind take a back seat. I tend to bypass them when I am like this. And I may not have the highest outward energy level, but it isn't a bad thing. I am not sad, I am not in a bad mood. I am just quieter.

I tend to take more care with my words. I tend to sit more still. I tend to stare off and look angry or sad. But! All is good. It is just another way my mind works... Sometimes I think in words, sometimes color, sometimes emotion/feeling. I think, even considering how much harder it can make regular communication, that thinking in emotion/feeling is my favorite way. It feels natural. :o)

My energy feels like a thick hazy-clear cloud, clinging to my skin. Hanging on and leaving wispy trails.

Many moments

many moments, originally uploaded by celerytart.

This is an intuitive drawing I just did of myself. It is many moments all layered and intermingling. It was a lot of fun to see how it progressed. I noticed when I started thinking of something specific/feeling something I hadn't been the moment before it started showing up in the picture.

It started out as a generic representation of something that I just really wanted to draw, but then I focused more on myself and the energy around me, and it happily transformed.

Thanks to Sephyrus, who helped open me up to this.
Enjoy!

Big Beautiful, Purple and Green (Blue)

I am so full of energy right now. I like to close my eyes and breathe in deeply to savor the taste, the feeling. It pushes at my skin and bones. It pushes out; it swells. It is Beauty, and it is beautiful. It feels like love because it feels so right. It is expression, it is art, it is emotion, it is being right with myself.
This is what it feels like when I am me. When I stop worrying and I just let what goes on inside of me go on. It is being at peace with myself. It is everything, and everything bad, and just plain old everything. It is all good, it is all experience, it is all something. There is beauty in everything. I mean it. In. Everything. Despite what the others say, if you really look you can see it.
A friend of mine affectionately calls it beginner's eyes. It is when you look out the window of the car and watch and soak everything up and you can feel the beauty all around you. You can feel all the energy in the world, feel all the things that the people around you are feeling. You swell with the reality of it all and the possibility of it all. You can feel what it was, what it is, and what it can be. Maybe even what it will be.
Moments of this make me want to hug the world because I want everyone to feel like this. I hope everyone feels this some time. I really hope they feel it often.
Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by it I really just want to cry. It feels so right.

[Sorry this sounds so cheesy, but its all truthful and good feeling. So feel it. :o) I hope you enjoy.]

I want to know what good feelings feel like for people. I want to know if people feel this way too. I want you to sit across from me and make me feel it too because I am so curious. I want to know what pure beauty and rightness feel like for you. I want you to know what it feels like for me. I want to share and be shared with!